A Modern Day Disillusioned Reality

I woke up this morning with a bad feeling, but was unsure why. Things looked grey. I’ve had a similar feeling when the ‘shift’ occurred several years ago, and it wasn’t the full moon that appeared yesterday either. I don’t dwell on things because what will be, will come to pass but these feelings warn you that there is a disturbance in the forces around. It’s unsettling and when a friend asked who it was regarding, I felt it was a world issue or one that involves humanity.

Recently I have been disillusioned with humanity and society as I struggle to live in an imperfect world that pretends it has principles and morals, yet no one enforces them or is afraid to. They are mere words consigned to history I fear as the contemporary generation yell out ’empowerment’ and their right to it, but isn’t that just a spoiled brat telling society that their opinion must be heard and is right? The fear is that people are afraid of being called racist or accused of some other kind of prejudice based on religion, gender, or some other bias.

The other day I was attacked and threatened for asking someone who was shouting on their phone on the bus to lower their voice. Another chimed in that I had no right to ask them to lower their voice because, ‘People can talk on phones’ he said. Talk, yes, but shout? No, but to an entitled and uneducated generation that assume they have rights, that’s how they see things. It’s worrying that society is turning so rapidly and is being shaped by fear and deluded entitlement.

I had an afternoon nap because I was so drained, which for me is not the norm. I don’t like to sleep during the day, but I do listen to the body and if it needs to rest, then so be it. I must have slept for an hour and didn’t stir, and it was a chance for my Soul to rest for a while as it’s been working overtime on other projects. When you are a lightworker, there is rarely a day off let alone time for yourself. I woke up and realized I was on the physical plane, and for a few minutes I pondered the meaning of my existence again. Am I really here and why, is it real? It was like being sent back down to finish off things and there was a feeling of an anti-climax Here on the physical plane, life is made up lots of small tasks that we enact by rote, without thinking about what we are actually doing.

It felt strange to boil a pan of water to cook my pasta; I knew what to do but it seemed such a meaningless task. I love my pasta and cooking it, but my hour of sleep of rest had changed me and I was cynical of existence. I ate because I was hungry and I made an effort to enjoy my pasta as I was settling back into human life.

A couple of hours ago, the news broke that the Mueller report had been filed. We have been waiting for it for so long, and regardless of the contents and outcome, it is symbolic of western democracy and the truth. Whether or not it yields the whole truth, no one can know because the whole truth is rarely possible for there will always be lies that have been covered up, or instances where there is not enough evidence. Was this the reason for my bad feeling?

The USA is divided over Trump, while in the UK people are divided over Brexit. People have been sending me emails to sign a petition for a second referendum and posting their views on social media.  I  do not care to be dictated to by others and find it offensive. I can decide for myself, and any sane rational person knows that you cannot have another referendum because the first did not yield the result some desired. I am disappointed in some that misunderstand the democratic process. They may not like the outcome, for each that doesn’t there are as many that do because they voted for that decision.

Existing on the physical plane in reality at present is no easy task as I watch society flail and humanity pretending to develop, but the truth is it isn’t. Technology wise yes, but in terms of humanity evolving, people are becoming more selfish, and are afraid of speaking the truth. It bewilders me how people can live with lies, because surely they eat away at you? Why are people afraid of the truth? Why do they prefer a lie that makes life easier? That’s why Souls aren’t evolving because they choose not to learn or take responsibility, and thus they will keep returning until they do. They will realize that life wasn’t supposed to be that easy.

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