The Pitfalls of Being a Guide or Mentor

I still get perplexed by people who yearn to be a Guide or Mentor whether it be spiritual or not, because I doubt many truly understand the responsibilities that come with it.  I say this because often it’s not a choice, as the role falls upon you, so why people want to become one, and pay to train to be one is something I can’t comprehend. There is a misconception that with it brings power; that is not so, for if you see it as power then you are not a true Guide or Mentor. For those who do think they have ‘power’ then usually they will be reminded of this in some way and humbled. The power to influence, but it should be a good influence and to lead by example. Others may think being a Guide is part of an ascension process and that it helps them evolve. Again, a myth for all Guides learn and can be brought down a peg or two if they are abusing any gifts they have or power they think they have attained.

A true Guide in the spiritual sense will always listen to their charge even if they rant and rave, make no sense, or come up with poor choices. It is not their role to tell them they are wrong, but to subtly ask them why they have chosen those actions or decided on those thoughts, and challenge them to validate them. In this way, a charge can then consider their choices and perhaps choose alternate ones or postpone them until they can see more clearly.

Guides don’t have guidebooks, and they have to decide when to intervene or not to. It’s no easy task, and watching a charge make a poor choice is not easy. You question as to whether you did enough if things don’t have a great outcome, but in time those thoughts will become less burdensome. As a Guide you can also get angry at a charge or impatient, and sometimes you simply cannot help it. That usually means that you should step back and let them fall a bit in order to learn. That is at times difficult to articulate to a charge when you back off or are suddenly less forthcoming as you used to be. This is another reason to try to remain neutral and consistent.

Another of my charges recently said that they’d hoped they were more than a charge and that I saw them as a friend. I do see them as friends as often I get to know them better than anyone in a very short space of time. However, experience has taught me not to get too close for I know when I am no longer needed, they will move on and that connection will not necessarily end, but will fade away. At first I would mourn the ‘loss’ of such intense connections, but I have come to learn that it is necessary for the charge to move on and not to depend on me. In some ways it’s like a child leaving home and keeping in contact at Christmas or when things are low to  return and seek out advice and counsel.

Therefore the life of a Guide can be a lonely one at times knowing that the ‘friendships’ will end, but then again you have to figure out which relationships are actual friendships versus charges that cross your path. Do I have friends who aren’t charges? That’s a tough one to answer because friends can become charges later in life, and possibly you are there ready in waiting. Perhaps one reads too much into it and it’s simply being there for a friend? Yet, I know in some of my instances those who suddenly became charges were in dire situations, and there was no choice other than to assist.

A Guide is a Soul with more experience and knowledge (but who is still learning) who can assist others on their path, but this role isn’t one you can apply for, nor can you pay to get trained or pass a test to get a certificate. Anyone who shows you a certificate or some other credentials be wary of. It’s 24/7, 365 days a year and there is no time limit either. You can have more than one charge at a time too, so it’s exhausting. Some maybe in dire need and you are on the phone or online to them at all hours, and with that you need to create some kind of boundaries. I have dropped what I was doing and got up in the middle of the night in some cases. There is no defined length of time for a charge to be under your care either, it could be several months or years even.

The life of a Guide is challenging, trying to balance their own goals and to assist others. At one point I told TPTB I could not take on any further charges as I had three. I did not choose this role, however, I accept that before I incarnated I had put myself forward for it when asked. It’s more of a voluntary job where there is no pay, and there is no glory. I don’t want charges to come forward and write testimonials for it’s private and some would rather put what has transpired behind them, even though they won’t forget, it doesn’t mean that they should linger over what has come to pass.

How does it make me feel being a Guide? Honestly, it can be tiring, but rewarding when a charge’s path opens up and they are able to focus again. That doesn’t mean my own incarnation is straightforward and easy because often your own incarnation will mirror what your charges go through. In some ways they piggy back off your energy in order to be carried, so you may feel and go through some of their anxieties and issues as a mirror, and that’s not always pleasant.

Being a Guide also means you must accept that if a charge doesn’t wish to listen or to accept assistance, then you can’t force them. For me that’s one of the hardest parts, seeing someone who needs help, but who won’t accept it or listen. At first you feel a tinge of guilt and push, but then you step back and realize you cannot save everyone, for not everyone wishes to be saved even if their own Guides ask you to help out because they aren’t making any headway. Some lessons will be very painful and tough and simply can’t be avoided, and a Guide must reluctantly accept that.


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