Does It Matter When You Haven’t Said Goodbye?

One of the tasks psychic and mediums face is when people don’t have a chance to say ‘goodbye’ when a Soul transitions (dies), but is it necessary? My former best friend’s mother (we didn’t fall out, but drifted apart as she became a mother to three children under 5) was someone close to me—who was there for me when I needed some support and I had thought about her often. On her last birthday I wanted to email her to wish her Happy Birthday, as it was a few days before mine. In my phonebook she was listed as ‘Ma’, as I used to call her frequently and stay over, but a thought came over me that she had died. Anyhow, my feelings were confirmed when Bells made a Facebook post alluding to the fact her mum was no longer alive on Mother’s Day.

At times I wish I was wrong, but part of me wishes I had the courage to act on my thoughts a few months ago. I didn’t get to say goodbye to Liz, but I know she would have known that I thought about her during the past few years. In a way, this is a lesson for me to appreciate someone who touched my life (even though I knew it at the time) and to say ‘thank you’ for being there. I’m sure she is watching from above, and I want her to know she did influence my life for the better and gave me a sense of security that I had never had, albeit brief.

Liz had a good heart, and my best friend Bells was her only daughter. Often I would referee between the two, and I would take Liz’s side when Bells was being a little too reckless. I kept secrets on both sides, and Liz and I would often discuss how to save Bells from another cad. She was one of the few people I could be openly frank with, and I always knew she wouldn’t sugar coat things. Ours was a friendship where we revealed confessions and secrets to one another without judgment, and that is something I have missed for the last few years.

I spent a couple of Christmases as Liz’s when my parents weren’t speaking to me, and I was so touched when she decorated my room and made a stocking for me. She bought me vegetarian food and even though I had spent the odd night there when it was too late to drive back to London, I was treated as a member of the family. Some days I would go and visit by myself when I was down, and if she wasn’t in she told me where the key was to let myself in.

Her home was one place I always felt comfortable and welcome in, and now that has gone. Even though I hadn’t been in a while, the fact it no longer exists is what make me sad. Just knowing it was there gave me a cushion of comfort and stability, but at least the memories cannot be erased. That isn’t to say I agreed with everything she said or did, and at times she was dramatic but funny at the same time. Once her ex-husband who had come back from Thailand, came to pick up Bells for dinner; she said Bells couldn’t stay over at her house as she would catch bird flu from her father and she didn’t want it in the house. I stayed and kept Liz company while father and daughter went for out dinner. We thought she was bluffing, but when Bells came back I was faced with either staying over by myself or leaving with Bells back to London. I chose to be loyal to my friend, but understood why Liz reacted as she did, mainly as her ex had been to Thailand for the Thai girls, something she disapproved of, and perhaps a way to try and control her daughter?

There are few genuine and caring people in this world and she was one of them, and I’m grateful to have been part of her life. She trusted me, and I her, and we would often talk about everything and nothing, and I didn’t have to tiptoe around things. I’m sad that I didn’t get to say goodbye, but that’s when we must trust spiritually that the Soul knows and can hear what we are thinking. I even remember her playing matchmaker with me a few times (it didn’t work out), but her intent and heart was in the right place.

What she showed me is that generosity and friendship isn’t measured by money, but by words and kindness. My first Christmas with her and Bells was one of the best in my life, and I don’t think either of them actually ever knew that. Somewhere tucked away in my storage boxes is the card Liz wrote attached to my stocking and the contents, because no one had ever done that for me in my life and I wanted to preserve it. I hope she now knows how special that made me feel, and even though I told her at the time, I don’t think she really believed me. As she watches from above, she will know that her actions gave me hope (because at that point I had nearly given up on life), and that our actions can and do touch others without our realizing it.

This isn’t goodbye, but see you later. I still have work to do, and I hope Liz’s Soul will guide me in her own inimitable way as and when, for even Old and Ancient Souls needs some guidance now and then. Friendships don’t die; they are put on hold until later on, so saying goodbye isn’t necessary even if we feel the need.

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