I was always puzzled whenever I read, you have to ‘let go of ego’ to be spiritually awoken and to reach enlightenment. Being modest and not big-headed I felt ‘well I should be okay’. Now the definition of someone with ego is to me is someone who has an inflated self-image of oneself, in other words conceit; however I realize it is so much more than this. You think because you are not egotistical you can be spiritually aware?
I discovered in many ways, through experience and watching others unconsciously there is more to it!
An example is making a decision that makes one feel as if they have power over others, that is a faux sense of power that does little but inflate your own ego where that choice benefits no one but the ego. For example you arrive deliberately late to meet someone because they annoyed you, so you make them wait, as ‘they deserve it’. That is ego! What did that action serve except to make you feel you had control and power over someone else?
It is more than mere actions, it is thoughts too we have to let go of. The one I come across is people saying to me ‘ you think you are too good for us or better than us’, that is their perception not mine. Obviously paranoia can kick in and you wonder if you have displayed egotistical tendencies, but on the contrary you cannot control others perceptions of you if they feel threatened by your very being. By all means stand up for yourself (as I do), but do not blame yourself for how others feel about you or how they try to judge you.
I found myself in a position with someone who needed to feel some power over me by asking me to do a task that was fruitless and pointless because they could. When replying with a reasonable response they were unable to respond and told me to ‘just do as I am told’.
(The task was to shovel snow for an hour in minus temperatures on a path where no one lived or walked because they were allowed an hour of my time to ‘help in whatever capacity was needed’.)
I have let go of my own ego; once you do you see other things clearly. You learn to let go of things that do not matter and those that do, you can see that the other party has the issues to deal with, not you. You cannot fight their demons. It is the petty things that are egotistical too, like people cutting up someone in the car or jumping the line at the checkout. You may not think of them as such, but they are conveying a message ‘ I deserve to go first.’
On my journey thus far, I have been humbled to accept the choices of those with ego, that is not to say I agree or have allowed them to ‘win’ but observing that it can cloud the right choice for all, rather than the needs of the one. What I have learnt is that making a choice is not just for you, but how it affects others and that is having a responsible ego.
Copyright © 2014 S.T. Alvyn. All Rights Reserved.