Life is a journey, for some of us it is more of a quest where we feel the urge and need for something enlightening to result from it. Sometimes we search, when we actually don’t need to, but yearn for answers that either are not for us to know or we may not be ready for. I find myself often in this state, questioning and asking, not quite understanding or seeing the picture. Reality on the physical plane blurs ones vision, but it is the one we exist in so it is only right we are part of it. Only recently I figured out who my current guide is, in hindsight I had the breadcrumbs over 10 years ago and the signs staring me in my face and I still didn’t figure it out until last week. We are the last to see what is in front of us for ourselves, whilst we can see for others clearly!
The journey can turn into a quest, but the quest should not take over one’s life. Search and you may get disappointed in what you find or do not find. At times we expect too much, and as a result plans get thwarted. There is the inevitable, we cannot avoid somethings–all we can do is prepare the best we can for the fall out and brace ourselves for the worst case scenario. There is no protection or avoidance, but knowing is to be forearmed. I am under a dark cloud, I made all attempts to prevent and protect, but I must accept this and perhaps it is because I need to learn more so it can help others. Painful and unpleasant, I see my journey as a quest towards my destiny. The door is open, yet I tread slowly. So much is in front, an open horizon. The dark clouds cannot be avoided and have to be passed to continue. When they have passed over I hope to see the light again, I know I will, but the dark is prolonged and agonizing.
The journey is part of the quest, some are content to continue on their journey accepting all that will be, and others like myself need to feel there is more–a deeper enlightenment that shows our true purpose and meaning. It is confusing, what we should be doing and what we want to do versus what others may say/judge or theorize. I do not dwell upon it, but pause in times of conflict and uncertainty. Ultimately, follow your heart and what it says, the head is logical, but from the heart is where our logic can be tested and ideals challenged. Sometimes I take a step back to look at the whole picture and it is scary. My quest will continue, tentatively I add–journeying alone is never easy, my guides may watch over from a distance, but that is all I have asked them to do. Solitude is necessary and required from time to time, as my path is only for one right now.
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